Coffeehouse Conversations
by Funara
Summary: Bday fic for mocha cocoa. A coffeehouse is a place to talk. Yuusuke and Kuwabara do a lot of it as they interrogate everyone from mangaka Toshimi Arina to Hiei and Kurama, investigating the rumors of a romantic relationship between the two. HxK discussed
1. First Sips

**Coffeehouse Conversations**

Part one: First Sips

By Funara

Disclaimer: Don't own Yu Yu Hakusho, mochas, fraps, Toshimi Arina or Midnight Sun. All of this will make sense shortly.

Notes: This is a four-part birthday fic for **mocha cocoa**. I hope to release a part every three days or so, and the last part should come out on her actual birthday. Happy Birthday, mocha!

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Yuusuke pushed open the door of the coffeehouse, breathing deep the pleasant aroma. Behind him, Kuwabara did the same. The place wasn't somewhere they usually hung out, but one of Kuwabara's friends had recommended it.

The two boys ambled towards the counter, glancing up at the menu. When Yuusuke realized that all the coffees listed were hot coffees, he wandered over to the small refrigerator off to the side, wanting something cold in the summer heat. He glanced at the contents inside.

There were a number of labeled bottles containing, to Yuusuke's surprise, coffee. In his limited experience of coffee, it had never come in a bottle. Alcohol came in bottles. Not coffee. He shrugged and peered at the label of the bottle nearest him. There were a bunch of English words—gibberish to him—but there was some Japanese written next to the English.

"Mouka?" Yuusuke sounded out the syllables. No word he knew—it must be the Japanese version of the coffee's English name. Willing to try it, he took a bottle. _No harm in coffee…unlike kaa-san's last attempt to make gourmet food. I knew something was wrong when she started watching "Iron Chef"._ He winced at the memory. If he developed stomach ulcers…

After paying for the coffee at the counter, the black-haired boy plunked down at a corner table and unscrewed the cap of his bottle. He took a small sip and decided it wasn't bad. Taking a larger swallow, he realized it reminded him vaguely of chocolate milk. It was sweet and cold, unlike the black coffee he drank the morning after an alcoholic binge, in an attempt to make the hangover go away.

Kuwabara appeared a moment later and pulled out the chair opposite Yuusuke. As he sat down, he caught sight of Yuusuke's mocha. "Whoa. Yours came in a _bottle_?"

Yuusuke grinned. "Yeah. Pretty weird, huh?"

"No kidding."

"What'd you get?"

"Furapa-something." He turned in his chair and squinted at the menu. "Furapuchinou."

"Uh…okay."

Kuwabara nodded, pulling the plastic cover off his Styrofoam cup. "Yeah, I don't drink this stuff too often either." He drank from his cup. "Hey, pretty good." He nodded approvingly.

Yuusuke slung an arm over the back of his chair and rested his other arm on the windowsill, staring outside at the passerby. Kuwabara took another sip of his hot coffee, not saying anything. The two of them were good enough friends not to let thoughtful silence, unusual as it was, bother them.

Kuwabara glanced around the coffeehouse and noticed a doorway leading to what looked like a bookstore. Hmm…he'd been meaning to buy the newest issue of Shounen Jump…

"Oi, Urameshi."

The green-attired teen pulled his gaze from the window. "What?"

"I'm going to check out the bookstore, maybe buy some manga." He jerked his thumb over his shoulder at the doorway.

"Yeah, okay." The taller boy got up and proceeded towards the bookstore, leaving his coffee on the table.

Yuusuke sighed and stretched. He'd been unable to escape school for the past week, which had seriously threatened his carefree attitude. Not to mention the fact that he actually had to scrape a passing grade on his final exam or risk being left behind. He tipped his chair on two legs, his arms crossed behind his head. _I wonder if there's any chance of getting kaa-san to bring in those yakuza members again…or maybe I could just forge a pass…but I got caught last time…_

The off-duty tantei's not-so-honorable train of thought was rudely interrupted by a high-pitched scream.

"HOLY SHIT! WHAT THE HELL IS THIS! URAMESHI! URAMESHI!"

Caught off-guard and unawares by Kuwabara's profane outburst, Yuusuke lost his balance and only saved himself by grabbing the windowsill with both hands. Unfortunately, his hands were wet from gripping his condensation-covered coffee bottle, and they slipped off, leaving the delinquent grabbing at nothing. He fell backwards in an ungraceful heap.

"Oww…" Yuusuke rubbed the back of his head and sat up. Moments later, Kuwabara charged in, looked around quickly, spotted his fallen comrade and rushed towards him, still shouting his name. Yuusuke instantly developed a migraine.

"Urameshi! My god, you have to see this! It's—it's—" Kuwabara grabbed the front of Yuusuke's uniform and shoved a book into his hands. Yuusuke stopped rubbing his head and looked at it blearily.

"What is it?"

"It's volume five of 'Midnight Sun', by Toshimi Arina. Yukina-san reads it, so I—but that's not the point. Look at the last couple of pages."

Yuusuke duly flipped to the back of the volume, wondering what this was about. The title page explained that the last section of the volume would be devoted to a doujinshi from Toshimi's doujinshika days. The teen looked up at Kuwabara. "So what? It's a doujinshi, they stick stuff like that in all the ti—"

"Flip through it!" Kuwabara was practically bouncing in agitation.

"Okay, okay." Yuusuke flipped through it idly. Nothing unusual, just a picture of—wait, was that Hiei! The detective peered closer. It was! And Kurama was there too! And they were—Yuusuke hastily flipped to another page, but was greeted by a similar sight. Hiei and Kurama kissing…Hiei and Kurama hugging…Hiei and Kurama—Yuusuke blanched and shut the volume.

Kuwabara took it from him. "Did you see it?"

Dumbfounded, Yuusuke nodded. "What the hell was that? I-I mean, it _looked_ like them, but it couldn't be—"

The orange-haired teen shook his head gravely. "It _is_ them. Their names were in the dialogue bubbles."

Yuusuke clapped a hand to his forehead. "Jesus, what is this? Are they involved or something? And who's this Toshimi person, drawing all of this?" He tried to banish some of the more explicit images from his mind.

"I dunno. It creeped me out too."

Suddenly, something clicked in Yuusuke's mind and he jumped to his feet. Kuwabara got up as well. "What are you going to do?" he asked warily, noting the strange gleam in his friend's eye.

Yuusuke marched towards the door. "I'm going to get to the bottom of this. I _am_ a detective after all."

Kuwabara sweatdropped. "And how do you plan to do that?"

Yuusuke turned to face him. "Well, first off, I know Keiko reads this 'Midnight Sun' stuff. I'm going to go talk to her."

—to be continued—

mangaka—someone who draws manga

doujinshika—someone who draws doujinshi

kaa-san--mother

Notes: I don't think there really is an HxK doujinshi in the back of Midnight Sun volume five, so don't harass me if I'm wrong. If I'm right…then, whoa I'm psychic! Otherwise, this was by far the easiest chapter of anything I've ever written. Good sign or bad? You tell me. Reviews?


	2. Past the Bottleneck

**Coffeehouse Conversations**

Part two: Past the Bottleneck

By Funara

Disclaimer: Yare, yare, it doesn't belong to me, okay? No lawsuits please. :holds hands up in a placating gesture, sunglasses firmly in place:

Notes: This installment is a full three days late. I had this beautiful schedule worked out, and then I had to go play tennis four hours a day, and now I'm off schedule. The third chapter was due to be out today. I'm so sorry!

IIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII

"Yuusuke," said Keiko, "if you don't tell me where we're going, I'm going to smack you."

The boy didn't respond. Keiko put a hand to her forehead and gave up, continuing to follow him as he wound his way through the streets of Tokyo.

Yesterday, he'd shown up at her door, demanding to talk to her. But when she had questioned him, he'd glanced offhandedly at his watch, started, and then left, saying that it was too late.

At school today, no amount of threatening or cajoling could get it out of him. Yuusuke had been strangely reticent, though his eyes had gleamed strangely. Had his many vices finally induced his mind to leave him? Keiko doubted it—after all, although he'd checked on her multiple times during the day to make sure she didn't leave, that didn't mean he'd actually _attended_ classes. He was the same old irresponsible Yuusuke.

The two of them finally stopped in front of a white brick building. Half of it was devoted to a café, and the other half to a bookstore. The name of the shop, Leaves of Cream, was written in flowing gold script across the top of the building.

Keiko blinked. This wasn't the kind of place Yuusuke usually visited. But he was already going in, so she followed. Surprisingly enough, Kuwabara was also there, waving from a table near the window.

Ten minutes later, Keiko sat down at the table, her latte before her. Yuusuke and Kuwabara sat across from her, having bought a mocha and a frappuccino, respectively. Only then did Keiko see the book on the table. She looked at it curiously, before looking up at the two boys.

"Are you going to tell me what's going on?" Keiko asked, glancing between the two of them.

They looked at each other and nodded, as if all of this were part of some preplanned scheme. Keiko suspected it was so. Kuwabara mutely handed her the volume of manga.

"'Midnight Sun'? What's so important about—"

"Look at the last few pages."

The brown-haired schoolgirl did so, nonplussed. As she browsed, glancing at the pictures and dialogue, a spark of recognition burst into life inside her, and she blushed, closing the book. She looked up at Yuusuke and Kuwabara.

"Well?" Yuusuke demanded. "You read this, right?"

Giggling quietly, Keiko nodded.

"So…what is this? Are they dating or something?"

The serious look on her boyfriend's face and his solemn tone was too much to take, especially given his choice of words. The image of Hiei, dressed in his usual black and brandishing his sword, asking Kurama to see a romantic movie with him…Keiko burst into laughter. Yuusuke and Kuwabara stared at her.

"Oh Yuusuke," she got out, wiping away tears of mirth, "I'm not sure whether 'dating' is the right term."

"Well, that's what they're doing, isn't it?"

Keiko shook her head, still smiling. "They're _demons_, Yuusuke. They don't exactly 'date.'"

"How do you know? _I_'m a demon, and I've got you."

"Because Yukina-chan said so," answered Keiko matter-of-factly.

Kuwabara jumped, a previously unmade connection dawning on him. "Waitaminute! Yukina-san reads this manga—"

"Yes. I introduced it to her."

"—so that means that she's seen this—this—" Kuwabara gestured, horrified, towards the book lying on the table.

Keiko blinked. "Well, of course she has. That's how we—" Her eyes widened, and she laughed again.

Kuwabara seemed annoyed. "Don't laugh! You've corrupted Yukina-san by showing her this obscene doujinshi!"

Yuusuke joined in. "And you didn't tell me about this! Girls shouldn't read this stuff!"

The brunette raised an eyebrow. "Don't you lecture _me_, Yuusuke. What kind of manga do _you_ read in your spare time, huh?"

Yuusuke sputtered indignantly. "That's different. And how did _you_ find my manga collection anyway?"

"I found it while looking for bandages to wrap up your head from the time you tripped down the stairs at Genkai's temple."

"You looked inside my underwear drawer!"

"Yes I did." Keiko turned to Kuwabara with a much kinder expression. "Don't worry about Yukina-chan—she already knows all about sex and things like that. She is a demon after all. And what she didn't know, we told her." She smiled reassuringly, as if she hoped that she could fit Kuwabara's jaw, unhinged in shock, back into the rest of his face. "Yukina-chan told us a lot about customs in Makai. That's how I know that they don't date." Kuwabara groaned as his image of Yukina as the model of kind-hearted innocence dissolved. He snatched his frappuccino and gulped it, wishing he had some alcohol.

Yuusuke drank some of his mocha, his brief spell of embarrassment over. He wiped his hand over his mouth and addressed his girlfriend again. "Okay, so they don't date. What _do_ they do then?"

"Why are you so interested?" Keiko wondered.

"Because they're my friends!"

"So why don't you ask them?"

_Because I'm afraid of being choked to death by a giant flaming dandelion with fangs. Or something equally gruesome._ He shuddered. "Because. Now tell me."

Keiko sighed. "Hasn't it occurred to you that maybe Kurama and Hiei haven't told you because they were afraid that you two would act like this?"

"No."

"Well, now it has. Look, all of us girls have known it for months now, and we never said anything."

Kuwabara lifted his head, a new wave of fear descending. "'All of us girls'? Does that mean my _sister_ knows?"

Keiko nodded. Kuwabara banged his head on the table once then stopped. His fingers inched along the tabletop, searching for his drink.

Yuusuke watched the progress of his friend's quest for distraction before turning back to Keiko. "Since you seem to be an expert, and since we know about it now, why don't you tell me more?"

She shrugged. "I don't really know that much."

The black-haired boy was outraged. "But you said Yukina told you about it! And you read about it!"

"Yukina-chan told us about lovers' customs in Makai. She doesn't know that much about Kurama and Hiei's relationship."

"Fine, then what did Yukina say?"

"Well, for instance, most demons don't stay in a committed relationship for that long. And most of them are promiscuous. Actually," Keiko's cheeks reddened, "she said that one-night stands are the standard procedure."

Yuusuke scratched the back of his head. "So it's more about the sex than anything else?" He could feel himself blushing as well.

Keiko nodded. "But that doesn't mean there aren't exceptions. Yukina-chan knows of demons who stay together for hundreds of years. Most youkai fool around for a while, but eventually find a permanent lover. Botan-chan said that the records say that Kurama and Hiei are both pretty old, and they've known each other for a really long time, so chances are that they're mates. And Shizuru-san saw Kurama wearing a tear gem around his neck. You're supposed to give something important to your mate."

The young man before her said nothing, pensively staring out the window. Keiko's eyes softened, and she wondered if he were thinking the same thing she had thought. She and Yuusuke had been friends for as long as she could remember, and boyfriend and girlfriend for a few years now. Would _they_ ever have a chance at the same sort of eternal happiness?

Unfortunately, Yuusuke, being the oblivious teenage boy that he was, was not thinking that at all. "Are they _gay_ then?"

Keiko toppled out of her chair. Even Kuwabara stopped mumbling to himself to look up.

A moment later, she reappeared. "Is that _all_ you can think of!"

He stared at her, boggled. "They're both guys, so I just thought that—"

The brown-haired young woman sat down and buried her head in her hands. _Boys! Why can't they ever think of something meaningful? _Apparently the thought that Kurama and Hiei were lifelong soul mates had not prompted any sort of mental thought train in Yuusuke. She lifted her head from her hands. Her boyfriend looked expectantly at her.

"No they're not gay, Yuusuke. Yukina-chan says that most demons don't really care about gender."

"So they're bi?"

She sighed. "You could say that."

"Hmm." He took a sip of his mocha. He had barely drunk to the bottom of the bottleneck. "So they're involved. I can take that." Yuusuke put the bottle down. "But that still doesn't explain why Toriyama Akira—no, wait a minute he drew _Dragonball_—"

"Toshimi Arina."

"Right. It doesn't explain how she found out about them. And who gave her permission to draw them anyway?"

The young woman shrugged. "I don't know."

Yuusuke turned his gaze to the window. Keiko sipped at her neglected drink.

"If I could ask this Toshima," Yuusuke began.

"Toshimi," Keiko corrected, wincing.

"Yeah, yeah. If I could talk to her, I could ask her how she found out. It _is_ a matter of intra-world security, you know, between humans and demons."

Keiko privately thought that no one else would agree.

Yuusuke was nodding to himself. _She draws this stuff, so maybe she knows why the heck they would be together. I mean, okay, so gender doesn't matter, but there're plenty of hot girls. What's wrong with girls? I like girls...actually the other day I saw this really hot chick at that bar…_His thoughts drifted to an area oft-frequented by teenage boys.

Meanwhile, Keiko gazed quietly over Yuusuke's shoulder. Her eyes caught on a sign posted on the far wall. She blinked.

"Yuusuke."

He was pulled out of his undoubtedly lewd thoughts. "What?"

"Look at the sign behind you."

He swiveled obediently and read the sign. He stared and turned back, an enormous grin on his face. "Well, it looks like my problems are solved."

Keiko was already writing down the time and date posted on the sign. What a coincidence it was that Toshimi was going to do book signings at this very café, in three days' time.

Yuusuke kicked back. "I guess I'm just a lucky guy," he drawled. "All my problems solve themselves." He squinted one eye at Keiko. "What are you writing down? What I just said? I'm honor—"

"I'm writing down the date and time, Yuusuke no baka."

He deflated slightly. "Okay." Then he glanced at her suspiciously. "Why?"

She tucked the piece of paper into her pocket. "Toshimi is a famous mangaka. I'm not about to pass up the chance to meet her."

He didn't protest, surprisingly enough. He didn't want to bring up the issue of the contents of his own manga collection again. He looked up as Keiko collected her things. "Leaving?"

"I have to make dinner."

"Oh." Yuusuke glanced at Kuwabara, who appeared inactive. He poked him. He groaned. "Want to help me carry Kuwabara home?"

Keiko sighed and lifted one of the orange-haired boy's limp arms. "All right."

—to be continued—

toshima—a middle-aged or mature woman. You can see why Keiko winced.

Yuusuke no baka—something like "Yuusuke, you idiot"

Notes: I didn't like this chapter when I wrote it, but I guess it doesn't entirely suck. Your call, though. Keiko seems mainly in character, though I had a lot of trouble with her honorifics. I couldn't for the life of me remember what she called Kuwabara, or Yukina, or Kurama, or Hiei, so I made it up as I went along. Someone want to correct me? I know "Botan-chan" and "Shizuru-san" are right.

Otherwise…we get to see Yukina's knowledge in action! Reviews?


	3. Essence of the Flavor

**Coffeehouse Conversations**

Part three: Essence of the Flavor

By Funara

Disclaimer: I own nothing that sounds familiar in this story. Except for the café. I own the café. Someday I'll build it…

Notes: Mocha, you deserve an abject apology. This story is far overdue, and I still have one part left. I'm sorry! But anyway, happy birthday to **mocha cocoa**, whose birthday was on the fifth!

IIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII

When Yuusuke, Keiko and Kuwabara arrived at Leaves of Cream that Saturday afternoon, the entire place was already packed with fans and autograph hunters. The two boys, who had not had an inkling of Toshimi's popularity, gaped at the dozens of cosplayers spilling out of the doors and onto the sidewalk.

As they squeezed past two girls wearing wigs and male school uniforms, Yuusuke stared and turned to Keiko. "This is insane! There must be at least a hundred people here!"

The brunette was not surprised. "I told you she was popular. Let's find the end of the autograph line. Did you bring something for her to sign?"

"I brought the manga," came Kuwabara's voice as he appeared over the heads of a crowd of young boys. After trying to figure out how to get past them without knocking them out, he finally gave up and manually picked up a few and set them down behind him. Keiko and Yuusuke sweatdropped.

Using Kuwabara as a battering ram, the three of them waded through the human tide, aiming for the long line of fans and miraculously found themselves in front of the front counter. Yuusuke blinked. "How did we get here?" Not waiting for an answer, he continued, "Buuut, since we're here anyway, let's order some coffee. A mouka and a furapuchino and a la—lache—"

"A latte," Keiko finished. On Yuusuke's other side, Kuwabara was fighting for his personal space as multiple starving students crowded around the glass display case, discussing the cakes and inadvertently squashing the orange-haired young man.

Carefully clutching their plastic cups, they made their way onto the end of the line of Toshimi fans. And proceeded to wait. And wait. And wait.

One hour, nine cups of coffee, fifteen complaints and two beatings later, they finally arrived at the front of the line, bedraggled and weary. Yuusuke's green uniform had a large brown stain originating on the shoulder and running down his arm. There was a faint hand imprint on his cheek. Kuwabara, who had drunk the most coffee, looked as though someone had surgically enlarged his eyes and inserted extra blood vessels. Keiko merely looked annoyed, though her uniform sported a tan stain. It wasn't a pretty picture.

Yuusuke handed the volume of manga to the black-haired lady sitting at the table and managed a grin. She signed it and looked up, reaching to shake the young man's hand. "Thank you for co—"

She froze.

The background chatter continued as Toshimi abruptly realized who the three teenagers were. Then, she stood up and smiled broadly. "Urameshi-san!" She shook his hand vigorously, as Yuusuke, Keiko and Kuwabara looked on with amazement. "And Yukimura-san and Kuwabara-san!" Turning to her editor, Toshimi whispered a few words and addressed the three of them. "Please, I'd love to speak to you. Just wait a while until we can be done here, ne?" She indicated the burgeoning crowd.

"Uh…sure."

They moved automatically to find a table and sit down. When the throng had closed up again, insuring privacy, Keiko turned to Yuusuke. "How did she know you?"

He shrugged. "Beats me. One second she was thanking me, the next she was calling me by my name. What about you guys?"

Both of them shook their heads. "No idea."

A good hour and a half later, Keiko had fallen asleep with her head on Yuusuke's shoulder and Kuwabara had braved the still active mobs to bring back more coffee. Yuusuke watched the strangely garbed fans slowly drift out as Kuwabara discovered an obsession with frappuccinos.

Finally, when the last tenacious cosplayer had had her picture taken with Toshimi and had been ushered out, the staff began to clean up. Toshimi slid into a seat next to Kuwabara and smiled cheerfully, if a bit tiredly, at them. She was definitely Japanese-looking—small and short and slender, with short black hair pulled into a ponytail. But she also had an air of professionalism around her, accentuated by square-shaped black-rimmed glasses perched daintily on her nose. Her purple blouse and long black skirt were styled in the same semi-formal fashion.

Keiko awoke with a start when Yuusuke tapped her shoulder, and she rubbed her eyes sleepily before catching sight of the woman sitting across from her. "Oh! Toshimi-san!"

She beamed. "It's so nice to see all of you. What can I do for you?"

The three of them shared a glance before Keiko began. "Well…for one, we were wondering how you knew our names."

The mangaka smiled. "I figured you'd probably want to know that. It's very simple, actually. I used to read _Yu Yu Hakusho_."

A blank silence greeted her words. Toshimi grinned again. "Still don't get it, ne? There's a lot of explaining to do. _Yu Yu Hakusho_ is the anime and manga series that I based my doujinshi off of. It chronicles Urameshi-san's adventures, from the day he saved Masaru onwards."

Yuusuke gaped. "But—then, _everything_ is in there? Even—"

"Even how you came back to life and became a Reikai Tantei and fought all those youkai and saved the world a dozen times over, yes. It also follows the lives of some of the people you associate with. That's how I came to know about Hiei and Kurama."

Yuusuke leapt from his chair. "Then I was right! This _is_ a security danger! We have to find this manga and destroy it and wipe everyone's memories—"

Toshimi shook her head, laughing. "I'm afraid not. This was released more than ten years ago. It's already very popular all over the entire world."

As Yuusuke sank back into his seat, overwhelmed, Keiko took charge. "But who drew it? And how did he or she find out? And why isn't everyone panicking if they know that there're demons everywhere?"

The dark-haired young woman folded her hands in front of her. "It's really simple, actually. A lot of manga is based off of the lives of real people. It's kind of a trade secret, but fans wouldn't believe it anyway. _Yu Yu Hakusho_ is one of the reality-based ones. The reason Togashi-san found out about it—that's the mangaka's name, by the way—is because he stumbled across some government records during his…ah, computer hacker days. At least that's what he tells us. He thinks they used chip implants to keep an eye on you guys."

Kuwabara joined the conversation. "The government? They—they know about us? Why haven't they done anything then?"

"They've probably reviewed your files and decided that it's best to let things stay the way they are."

"And they're not going to try and manipulate us into doing something for them?"

Toshimi shrugged. "I couldn't say. So far, all they've done is hide all traces of the existence of _Yu Yu Hakusho_ from all of you."

"What's it like?" Yuusuke demanded suddenly. "This documentary of my life?"

The former doujinshika held out her hands in a placating manner. "It's nothing terrible, just a third person perspective of all you've done. You have fans across the world because of it."

"But what about my privacy!"

"The government doesn't usually hold privacy in high esteem."

Yuusuke buried his head in his hands. "I always wanted to be a celebrity, but this…"

Keiko patted his shoulder. "Is the series still ongoing?"

"Oh no. It ended a long time ago. We're not being spied on right now." Kuwabara cast a surreptitious glance at the window.

When no more questions were forthcoming, Toshimi continued. "I know it must be strange to hear this. Is there anything I can do?" She looked between them.

"Actually, yeah, there is." Yuusuke had reappeared. "Uh…it's about your doujinshi."

"What about them?"

He scratched his head. "Well…Kuwabara and I read one, and then we realized that Hiei and Kurama were, um, lovers. And we wanted to know, well, why." Keiko shot him a this-isn't-your-business look. He ducked.

Toshimi was frowning. "It's difficult to answer that question. You see, we're only doujinshika, and so we view Hiei and Kurama based on what Togashi-san has represented in his manga. We can only speculate. The only thing we know for sure is that they're involved."

"Oh, okay. What do you think then?"

"What do I think? It's complicated, the way I view it. Have you read any of my doujinshi in full?"

"Uhh…no."

"I have." The three of them glanced at Keiko, who blushed. "Your art is so beautiful, and I really love your storylines."

The mangaka beamed happily. "Thank you. Then you know how I describe the relationship between Hiei and Kurama." Keiko nodded. "But Urameshi-san and Kuwabara-san don't." The two boys shook their heads. "All right, that's fine." She put a finger to her lips. "Well…I've always thought that Kurama was much darker than the way he's portrayed. There's no way he could have been the manipulative, ruthless thief that he was without altering his outlook on life. So the way I see it, he'll stop at nothing to get what he wants, even if he has to kill or ra—"

"Whoa, whoa, whoa!" Yuusuke held up his hand. "I think you've got it backwards. _Hiei_'s the evil, merciless guy. Yeah, Kurama used to be a scary demon, but he's not that way anymore. He was trying to save his mom when I first met him. I don't think he would do that if he were cruel and uncaring."

Toshimi shrugged. "This is my view. Maybe you're right. But I think that the Kurama you know isn't really the real one—someone as old as him probably has thousands of facets and intricacies. In any case, when he wants something, he intends to get it. Hiei, for example. To get Hiei to love him, he might do all sorts of extreme things. I don't know whether anything I've drawn would actually happen, but it could get to the point where Kurama would use Yukina's safety to get Hiei to have se—"

"Okay!" Yuusuke said loudly, large beads of perspiration forming on his face. Keiko glared at him. "Erm, I mean, sorry for the interruption, but we get it now. Really. Kurama is calculating and evil." Toshimi smiled at the boy's discomfiture. "So…what about Hiei? Is he secretly sweet and clueless and does he enjoy tiptoeing through tulips?"

"Not really," she said mildly. "Hiei is used to the ways of demons. Whatever bargain he has to make to ensure his sister's safety and to keep Kurama's friendship, he'll make it. He counts on Kurama as one of the few comrades he has, so as long as Kurama doesn't break his promises, it's fine."

"Hmm…I guess that makes sense…" Yuusuke trailed off.

Toshimi sipped at a cup of tea that had materialized on their table in the course of conversation. "There's probably more to it, and I do elaborate, but I'm not sure you want to hear it." Yuusuke and Kuwabara, who had been silent, both shook their heads rapidly. Toshimi laughed. "I'll tell you about other theories then. Some doujinshika believe that Hiei and Kurama really do love each other and that they'll always be faithful to each other, which is very sweet. Others think the demonic tradition of promiscuity is a difficult obstacle. Some think they're just friends with benefits."

"That's…weird," said Kuwabara. "I mean, these are guys we've known for years now. To think that they might be completely different than the way we know them…" He shook his head.

"Why don't you just ask them directly then?" she asked. "It'll clear up any misconceptions you might be getting."

"I said that same thing," interjected Keiko. "But they don't want to."

"Well, I don't want to die," said Yuusuke. "I didn't survive multiple near-apocalypses to end up being killed by my friends for asking if they were lovers or not."

"I doubt if they'll kill you," Toshimi answered. "They're not that extreme. Just ask them."

"Well…maybe," Yuusuke hedged. A car horn sounded outside.

"I think you should," the mangaka said, getting up. "But I have to go now—the car's here, and I have to catch a plane." The three teenagers stood up. "It was very nice meeting all of you,"—she shook their hands—"and I hope everything goes well." She walked to the door, opened it, waved goodbye and left.

Keiko watched her go. Kuwabara turned to Yuusuke. "I think she's right. We should go ask them."

Yuusuke looked alarmed. "Aren't _you_ the one who keeps insisting that Hiei is after your life? Why give him a reason to utilize one of the methods on his 'Gruesome Ways to Kill Kuwabara' list?"

The orange-haired boy shrugged. "You're the one who wanted to find out in the first place. Don't back out now."

He contemplated this barb to his courage before looking resigned. "Fine, fine. But if I get incinerated, you're scooping up every last ash and putting them in a shiny box. And someone better say something nice at the funeral."

—to be continued—

Notes: This is pathetic of me, but thanks to mocha for providing information for the writing of her own birthday fic. :groan: I'm such an idiot that I decided to plunge into a description of Toshimi's Hiei and Kurama with a very small acquaintance with her doujinshi. I'm doing penance as I type this. :sob:

Also, a great deal of the material in this chapter, like the appearance of Toshimi and the government tracking the tantei's activities with chip implants, is purely my own invention. Don't take my word for it…a.k.a. don't sue me when the Japanese government proves that it really has no information on Kurama's past.

One more part left! And yes, Anomura, you were right. Hiei and Kurama will make their appearance in the next and last part.

And, I'm really sorry to those following my other stories, but school is my priority right now, and I just don't have time to write. I promise though that none of my stories are on hiatus and that I am alive and kicking and that new chapters will appear at some point. So, keep reviewing, ne?

Oh, and, look! It's been one full year since I posted my first story.


	4. Bottom of the Bottle

**Coffeehouse Conversations**

Part four: Bottom of the Bottle

By Funara

Disclaimer: I own nothing that anyone would want to own. However, after I take Donald Trump hostage and threaten to give him a haircut that would render him a shameful has-been, I may have some extra cash on my hands. Then I'll buy some good stuff.

Notes: -wince- It has now been a full eighteen days since mocha's birthday. At least the fic is done, though it seemed as though everyone hated chapter three. Why did I only receive two reviews -ungrateful- But really, if there was something bad about it, inform me. Maybe it wasn't as funny as the others? This one is chock-full of humor though.

IIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII

"So guys…what's up?"

Kurama raised an eyebrow. "Shouldn't we be the ones asking that question, Yuusuke?" He sipped at his tea.

Yuusuke enthusiastically chugged down some coffee. "Yeah, I know, I know. It's my standard greeting, okay?" Hiei snorted but refrained from commenting otherwise. "Anyway, so…you're probably wondering why we dragged you out here."

Hiei did speak this time. "Yuusuke, I know tactful conversation isn't your strong point, but I much preferred it when you just blurted out whatever the hell you wanted. Now stop making obvious remarks and tell us why we're here."

The detective made a gesture of concession when, suspiciously enough, Kurama did not chide Hiei, but merely smiled. It looked as though all the evidence was pointing to an absolute conclusion that would put his mind through a series of acrobatics it had not performed since he had heard Koenma's explanation for the widening of Sensui's breach in Reikai's barriers.

Though actually, the fear he might have felt during that mission was nothing compared to the feeling he'd had when he and Kuwabara had knocked on Kurama's bedroom door that afternoon. At least he hadn't been alone, though a Kuwabara wearing blinders and earplugs had been little comfort.

Fortunately, he had not been forced to seize the first telephone directory and look up a therapist. True, both Kurama and Hiei had been present in the room, but all they had been doing was talking. The most difficult part had been wrestling with Kuwabara to convince him to take off the earplugs and blinders.

So now, all that remained was to ask the question he'd been asking for the past week. Only now he faced the direst of consequences, the most unforgiving of witnesses. Perhaps Toshimi had been right about Kurama's latent wickedness. Perhaps he would die today, with this simple coffeehouse as his final resting place.

Hiei, Kurama and Kuwabara watched Yuusuke's face twist into an expression of melodramatic self-pity. Kuwabara ventured a "Oi, Urameshi, are you okay?", and the spell was broken. He blinked and focused back on them.

"Oh, right. I was just thinking about…how nice this café is." He sweatdropped at his own excuse. Though in reality, he had become rather fond of Leaves of Cream, as a person who is drawn to the site of a shocking revelation. Accordingly, he had used it as his base of operations.

"I see. But Yuusuke, I would have to agree with Hiei in this case. Would you just tell us what's going on?" Kurama looked vaguely impatient. Yuusuke tried not to misconstrue the reason behind the emotion, and failed.

"Okay, but you're not going to like it." He glanced over at Kuwabara, who was remaining resolutely silent in an effort to preserve his own hide. Some best friend. "Kuwabara and I were here a few days ago, and he found a volume of manga that had some…interesting illustrations. So we mentioned the content to Keiko and had a talk, and then we met Toshimi Arina who told us some stuff…"

"And what does this have to do with Hiei and me?" Kurama asked bemusedly.

His teammate sweated some more. "Well, the doujinshi in the back of the manga was by Toshimi…and it was kind of about you and Hiei."

The teacup paused on its way to Kurama's mouth and subsequently began a quick descent back onto the saucer. Kurama's expression asked for elaboration.

Yuusuke squirmed. In the future, he really ought to leave these matters to Keiko. "I know it's weird and hard to believe, but Toshimi told us about how the government's been keeping an eye on us and how there's a manga and anime series about all of us…"

"Oh, I knew that already," remarked Kurama. "I'm just surprised about the bit about the doujinshi."

The black-haired teenager started. "What! You knew about it, and you didn't tell me!"

The redhead shrugged gracefully. "We all have our secrets. Telling you wouldn't have accomplished anything."

Yuusuke settled down, still irked. _Geez, what good friends I have._ "So yeah, there's a series about us and doujinshi about us, and we're all apparently famous. Thought you should know."

"It was bound to happen sometime. And Reikai's security isn't always the best. Hiei and I can attest to that." He smiled warmly at the fire demon.

Which reminded Yuusuke of why he was here. "But that's not all. We also found out that you and Hiei are…uhh…lurv—uhh—lovers." He squeezed out the last word as unobtrusively as he could.

Unfortunately, both demons heard it. Hiei narrowed his eyes, and Kurama turned faintly pink. Yuusuke plowed on. "So-we-were-wondering-if-it-was-true-because-everyone-says-so-and-please-don't-kill-me-it's-not-my-fault-I-found-out." Out of the corner of his eye, he could see Kuwabara both listening intently and scooting away from a large potted plant.

Hiei answered first, albeit in a dangerous voice. "Who is everyone?" Yuusuke could almost see the murderous plans forming in his mind. And without Kurama to control him, things could get ugly. Had he renewed his passport lately?

Luckily, Kurama put his hand on Hiei's and murmured something quietly before turning back to Yuusuke, calm and composed. "Yes, it is true."

"Oh," said Yuusuke wittily. A pregnant pause ensued, during which everyone looked in different directions. As he tried to look at the floor and the wall at the same time, though, Yuusuke caught sight of the cord around Kurama's neck and abruptly remembered what Keiko had said about soul mates. "So, um, are you guys mates?"

Hiei bristled at this fresh invasion of privacy, but Kurama merely cocked his head and said, "Yes, we are. How did you know?" Yuusuke pointed silently at his necklace.

"Keiko said Yukina told her about demon mating customs."

"Ah." Kurama pulled the collar of his shirt up a little higher.

"Is there anything else you would like to interrogate us about, detective?" Hiei asked acidly.

Yuusuke backed up hastily, taking his mocha with him. "Uh yeah, there is, but I think I'll skip that question." He laughed nervously. "I'm sure you guys wouldn't want to explain to me the long and detailed story of how you became lovers anyway." He sweatdropped. "So yeah, that's all I really wanted to know, so thanks for your time and see you guys later!" He punctuated it with another nervous laugh.

As Hiei got up, Yuusuke silently thanked his stars, but redoubled his prayers when the youkai's hand rested briefly on a previously unseen sword hidden in his cloak. He did nothing, though, but to turn to Kurama and say, "Let's go." The fox nodded and rose as well.

"Yuusuke, Kuwabara," he nodded to them. "It's been a fascinating ten minutes. I, ah, hope you have a nice day." To everyone's surprise, following this, Hiei grabbed Kurama's hand, laced their fingers together and pulled him outside, leaving two relieved teenagers inside the coffeehouse.

"Well," said Kuwabara, speaking now that the danger was past, "that wasn't too bad."

His friend glared at him. "Easy for you to say—all you did was cower behind me and force me to ask the questions."

Kuwabara drank his frappuccino. "Sometimes the great Kuwabara Kazuma has to diverge from his proud and noble path of crusade-leading. Besides, you were the one who started the whole interviewing thing. And now, Hiei will come after you instead of me, and you'll know what it's like to wake up in the middle of the night and find dead animals on your pillow."

The black-haired schoolboy winced. "At least I didn't ask any of the really bad questions. I was going to ask them about being gay and what was wrong with hot chicks."

"But self-preservation got in the way?"

"Yeah." Yuusuke took a sip of his coffee and began to feel the effect of a mission accomplished. Hopefully Kurama would keep Hiei busy enough that he wouldn't have time to come after him.

"You know, we're going to have to rent separate rooms when we go on missions now," Kuwabara commented.

"I guess," said Yuusuke absentmindedly.

"And check the rooms for government bugs."

"I guess," Yuusuke repeated.

"At least we know we're being appreciated."

"Mm." He drank the last of his coffee and sighed contentedly. "You know, this coffee has a weird calming effect on me. I should drink it more often."

"Same here," said Kuwabara.

Yuusuke spun the bottle idly on his finger. "Hey, Kuwabara?"

"What?"

"Remember those cosplayers from Saturday?"

"Uh huh."

"They were really into that stuff, weren't they?"

"Yeah. But she does draw some nice manga."

"What's _Midnight Sun_ about?"

The orange-haired teenager grinned. "You gotta read the manga to find out. And don't forget to read her doujinshi at the end. Her stories are very _enlightening, _you know."

Yuusuke groaned.

—the end—

Notes: Done! I feel like I didn't try hard enough for this story. Hmm. But happy belated birthday to mocha cocoa! Reviews?


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